![]() I couldn’t really imagine having twenty of them all day, five days a week, and the different challenges that brings on. I’m not a teacher, but I have lead Girl Scouts on my own (as my co-leader thought all meetings were her “fun time” to catch up on texting), and kids are exhausting. Instead, teachers still don the age old tactics of victim blaming to keep a quieter classroom by telling the students who report harassment and issues from other students as “tattletales.” In short, while school’s like to say things like this to keep parents happy, it’s not what they actually practice. Amanda and her husband reside in Lenexa with their two young sons.I have a new beef with the public school system and their claims for having zero tolerance against bullies. Hopefully, these strategies will minimize the tattletale phase in your house.Īmanda Doll has heard a few tattles in her 10 years of teaching, and she is prepared when her own two boys are old enough to give tattling vs. *Coach them with assertive, yet non-confrontational phrases like, "I don't like it when you do that. Hopefully one will resolve the issue for them. Remind them to try all the steps in order before asking for help. Use this acronym to give your child five steps before asking for help. *A popular strategy used in schools is called DEBUG. *Draw a picture or write about the event that bothers you. If the answer is no, have some strategies in place for them to turn to. They should ask themselves “Is this hurtful or harmful to something or someone?” If the answer is yes, they need to report to an adult. When he is presented with a conflict, give him some different choices of strategies to fall back on before going to an adult.įirst of all, kids need to determine whether sharing the conflict would be a tattle or a report. Providing strategies for your child enables him to practice independent problem solving. Energy drain technique: "Oh man, listening to tattling drains my energy! I need that energy for our fun activity later tonight.".Offer a choice: “Do you want to keep playing with him or try another activity?”.Empowerment: Give the power back to the child by responding with a question of “What can you do about that?”.Love and Logic Parenting has three other great tips on how to redirect your tattletale. I know it’s frustrating when people won’t share with you.” Perlinger says, “Sometimes that simple acknowledgement is all they need.” For example, your child might tell you, “Mom, he told me I couldn’t play with his cars.” Respond with a statement such as “I’m sorry to hear that. ![]() Christine Perlinger, local daycare provider of 15 years and mother of four, suggests empathizing with children using simple responses. You want to encourage communication and acknowledge feelings without reinforcing the behavior. It is important to listen to children who are tattling. Try to resist the quick fix and invest in a teachable moment with your child. If you punish the child being told on, you are reinforcing the tattling behavior. When your goal is to move your child away from the tattletale behavior, it is important not to go into “automatic rescue” mode after a minor incident is brought to you. Discussion, role play and teachable moments are great ways to help your child get a grip on tattling versus reporting. ![]()
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